(Submitted by guest blogger, a current high school student – Thanks tons, A.R.)
When bullying comes to mind, thoughts surrounding fighting, comments or pictures circulating the internet and schools come along with it. What we fail to recognize, due to privacy, is that bullying also occurs within relationships whether it’s getting a punch in the face, being objectified or constantly getting yelled at for not being the ideal girlfriend or boyfriend.
Everyone wants to know how it feels to be loved and will do anything to get it, whether that means dressing up like Lady Gaga or wearing their pants low like Lil’ Wayne. Changing yourself to please others is highly common in high schools; teenagers will do everything in their willpower to jump into a relationship for that ideal feeling of being loved. But is it really the love that is sucking everyone in or is it the idea of being loved by someone?
I had a friend in high school who loved the feeling of being stared at when she walked and when she got over eleven likes on her Instagram picture. She adored the feeling of someone loving her to the point where they would walk in front of a bullet for her. She once rushed into a relationship with someone she thought she knew. Everything was fun for a couple of days; he brought her soup when she was sick, she painted his nails and let’s not forget the adorable play fighting. Sometimes play fighting goes too far, there appears an apology and it never happens again. But this is reality. Once it begins, it keeps worsening as it continues onward. Argue, push, apology. Argue, scratch, blood, apology. Argue, punch, grab, fall, purple bruises, apology.
When is it going to stop?
When he tells you he loves you and you keep running back to him? When you drink that bottle of alcohol? How about that cigarette in your hand? Answer: none of the above. The only way the conflict is going to end is when the person being abused ends the relationship. When the end approaches, the endless messages received from your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend will flood in, reminding you (the abused) of your history with this person.
The reminders are never-ending; you can be reminded when you see the abuser, a friend being abused, reading a book or even walking on a street downtown. The trick is to have a good support system (i.e. family, a best friend), take your time to find yourself and another trick, as much as it may hurt, is to simply let it hurt. As soon as the pain of being hurt is accepted and dealt with, you can take that pain to change yourself into a person who you are proud of being and someone you are proud to share with the world. If another push is needed, stay positive and talk to a counselor or a therapist; they’re always around to help you find your way.
(Thanks again to our guest blogger of the day, A.R.)